The Ladies Room.

Gladys visits the ladies room in the local Walmart. As she enters the restroom, she notices the handicap stall on the end is occupied by someone who appears to be standing facing the commode. Leary of the situation, she quietly enters the empty stall trying not to draw attention to her presence when she hears a small child chanting, “Push ‘em out, shove ‘em out, waaaay out!”

George is a couch potato.

George is a couch potato. Unfortunately, the latest fashion in men’s tight jeans is not conducive to relaxation while watching TV. Accordingly, George unbuttons and unzips his pants to relax while watching television in his man-cave.

Gladys joins him to watch the late evening news and fold clothes after the children are settled in bed. She fills two large baskets with the week’s clean laundry. When they finally decide to go upstairs to bed, George carries one basket of clean folded laundry and Gladys will follow with the other after she straightens the room.

George yells from the stairs for help. Gladys quickly runs to see what the commotion is all about. George is standing on the second stair, his pants have fallen to his ankles where they have ankle-cuffed him. He cannot go up or back down the stairs. He can’t turn around because the basket he is carrying is almost the same width as the stairwell, nor can he bend over the basket to pull his drawers up.

“Well, George, it looks like you got caught with your pants down.”

George originates a new rodeo event.

One might wonder how a cow had such a name as “Skid” bestowed upon it, but truth be told, it all began on the evening George went out to milk the cow. Every time George attempted to pull her into the milking stall, she held all one-thousand-plus pounds firm and would not move into the stall. After repeated attempts, the cow got tired of the fight and backed out of the barn. George wasn’t about to lose this battle and he grabbed a tight hold on her tail, twisted it around his wrist, and pulled as hard as he could. The cow, not liking the discomfort, took off on a run through the corral. George hung tight with his boot heels pressing into the wet muck. The boys gathered on the fence rails, laughing, heckling, and cheering, as George skidded—exhibiting perfect water-skiing form with manure flying out behind him. After circling the corral several times, the cow finally stopped running. More of a taunt to George than anything, the boys christened the cow “Skid” and her legacy still stands.

Junior is infamous

Gladys attended the funeral of a friend she had known for thirty-five years. Everyone had moved away from the old neighborhood and gone in different directions, but the friendships forged in that era never died. It seemed like a family reunion to see old friends that had come to the funeral. She was visiting with one of her particularly close friends who now lived at the opposite end of the state. They were asking each other about their children who were now adults. Gladys explained where Bill, Jim, Henry and Ron were living.

“Now didn’t you have another child after Ron?” she asked.

“Yes, I had Junior …you remember—he’s the one who burned our house down and broke the window out of your storm door.”

Her friend thought for a moment and then said, “Now, wasn’t he the one who sucked up the baby chicks with the vacuum hose?”

Honestly! The things people remember!