The Original Sin

Gladys 

I am a God-fearing Christian. I have always known that God knew me, loved me, and watched over me 24-7. I often wondered about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. How long did they live before they were exiled, and why did God curse them with weeds, mosquitoes, and gnats? Couldn’t He have settled for a world without fruit, for example? It seems to me that denying Adam and Eve fruit, would have been the natural consequence they deserved for eating that which was forbidden. Or was it that He knew the insects would decay the fruit and thus punish them repeatedly each time they tried to eat it? And another thing I don’t get …how on earth did a snake talk to Eve? Did they speak parseltongue? How did J.K. Rowling know? Could I, like Adam and Eve be naked and not notice? I doubt it.  I lock George out of the bathroom to change my shoes. And I guarantee you, I could never have endured a wardrobe of fig leaves—green is not my color …to say nothing of the half of me that would still have been exposed wearing only an apron!

          One night after making love, George and I were spooned next to each other in the buff, and George began to pray. In my mind, I screamed, “Stop! You can’t talk to God! I’m naked!” Where’s a fig leaf when you need one?